The Facts of life: a guide 'fer livin'

  1. Cats cannot be substituted for Dogs, no exceptions.
  2. Make your words sweet, you never know when youll have to eat them.
  3. Remember the Alamo.
  4. Nothing good has ever come out of a sentence started with the word OK.
  5. Not all dogs go to heaven.
  6. Put all requests in writing its harder to forget that way.
  7. Fishing is not allowed off of the bridge.
  8. If it tastes good, it's bad for you.
  9. Smile, It makes people wonder what you are up to.
  10. Everybody has gas.
  11. Wizards First Rule: People are stupid.
  12. Most everyone likes monkeys and pie.
  13. People who own tiny dogs and cats have a tendancy to treat them like children.
  14. Every child likes to torment a family pet but it is okay, sometimes the pets torment back.
  15. If it tastes awful, it'll probably save your life.
  16. Infants should not drink coffee.
  17. Infants should not drive cars.
  18. Infants should not operate heavy machinery.
  19. Really, there are a lot of things infants should not do.
  20. Talk is just talk. What really matters is actions.
  21. If you think you work too hard, you probably do. But, that's normal. It's even normal for someone to think they work too hard when they do nothing.
  22. The only time house work get's noticed is when it's not done.
  23. The only way to waste a vote is to not use it.
  24. Never shave your cat... they hate that.
  25. Always try to do good things and don't expect a reward. Odds are, payback will be in the future.
  26. People who say they are crazy are the only sane ones.
  27. There really is no such thing as an old fool. Most folks didn't get old by being a fool.
  28. Stupidity is made of complication, arrogance, and failure to plan.
  29. Do not argue with dragons, for thou art crunchy and go well with cheddar.
  30. Reality occasionally stuns theory.
  31. We all aspire to our own level of mediocrity.
  32. Sometimes its easier to apologize than to explain.
  33. Some people are better experienced in small doses.
  34. Drugs are bad, um-kay?
  35. Genius is limited, but stupidity is infinite...
  36. Don't trust whitey.
  37. Just Do it.
  38. Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.
  39. If you think that someone is lying to you, they probably are.
  40. In most cases, you only have yourself to blame.
  41. Those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it.
  42. Say no to "crack".
  43. Free advice is worth every penny you pay for it.
  44. Some people are better to watch than to listen to.
  45. Sometimes you're the detective, sometimes you're the crook.
  46. Remember to K.I.S.S it, whatever it is [Keep It Simple, Stupid].
  47. Sometimes T-Shirts are smarter than the people who wear them.
  48. "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein
  49. "A Person is Smart, People are stupid"
  50. "The Second Rule is that the greatest harm can result from the best intentions."
  51. "Passion rules reason."
  52. "life is the future, not the past"

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