The Facts of life: a guide 'fer livin'
- Cats cannot be substituted for Dogs, no exceptions.
- Make your words sweet, you never know when you’ll have to eat them.
- Remember the Alamo.
- Nothing good has ever come out of a sentence started with the word “OK”.
- Not all dogs go to heaven.
- Put all requests in writing – it’s harder to forget that way.
- Fishing is not allowed off of the bridge.
- If it tastes good, it's bad for you.
- Smile, It makes people wonder what you are up to.
- Everybody has gas.
- Wizards First Rule: People are stupid.
- Most everyone likes monkeys and pie.
- People who own tiny dogs and cats have a tendancy to treat them like children.
- Every child likes to torment a family pet but it is okay, sometimes the pets torment back.
- If it tastes awful, it'll probably save your life.
- Infants should not drink coffee.
- Infants should not drive cars.
- Infants should not operate heavy machinery.
- Really, there are a lot of things infants should not do.
- Talk is just talk. What really matters is actions.
- If you think you work too hard, you probably do. But, that's normal. It's even normal for someone to think they work too hard when they do nothing.
- The only time house work get's noticed is when it's not done.
- The only way to waste a vote is to not use it.
- Never shave your cat... they hate that.
- Always try to do good things and don't expect a reward. Odds are, payback will be in the future.
- People who say they are crazy are the only sane ones.
- There really is no such thing as an old fool. Most folks didn't get old by being a fool.
- Stupidity is made of complication, arrogance, and failure to plan.
- Do not argue with dragons, for thou art crunchy and go well with cheddar.
- Reality occasionally stuns theory.
- We all aspire to our own level of mediocrity.
- Sometimes it’s easier to apologize than to explain.
- Some people are better experienced in small doses.
- Drugs are bad, um-kay?
- Genius is limited, but stupidity is infinite...
- Don't trust whitey.
- Just Do it.
- Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.
- If you think that someone is lying to you, they probably are.
- In most cases, you only have yourself to blame.
- Those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it.
- Say no to "crack".
- Free advice is worth every penny you pay for it.
- Some people are better to watch than to listen to.
- Sometimes you're the detective, sometimes you're the crook.
- Remember to K.I.S.S it, whatever it is [Keep It Simple, Stupid].
- Sometimes T-Shirts are smarter than the people who wear them.
- "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein
- "A Person is Smart, People are stupid"
- "The Second Rule is that the greatest harm can result from the best intentions."
- "Passion rules reason."
- "life is the future, not the past"
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