YOU MAY BE AN ENGINEER IF:
* If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
* If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
* If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
* If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
* If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
* If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the
decimal point in the right place
* If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids'toys
* If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
* If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
hanging coats and taping ducts
* If you window shop at Radio Shack
* If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest
sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
* If you are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door
opener and your camera's flash attachment
* If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
(It's on the floor, next to my desk! SO THERE!)
* If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
* If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
* If you own "Official Star Trek" anything
* If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
* If you are currently gathering the components to build your own
* If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
* If you truly believe aliens are living among us
* If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
* If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
* If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile
* If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
own turns bread into charcoal
* If you have more toys than your kids
* If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
* If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
* If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
* If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush
up to the front to fix it
* If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
* If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel
and have seen most of the shows already
* If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
* If people groan at the party when you pick out the music
* If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this
* If you did the sound system for your senior prom
* If your checkbook always balances
* If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
* If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
* If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission
* If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they
didn't get enough sleep
* If you spend more on your home computer than your car
* If you know what http:// stands for
* If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
* If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your
* If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
explain atmospheric absorption theory
* If your 4 basic food groups are:
1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate (or Chinese, pizza, beer, salt
* If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
Engineering Pick-Up Lines
1. I won't stop bugging you until I get the address of your home page.
2. You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
3. Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity and Time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.
4. My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.
5. Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.
6. Wanna come back to my room? ...and see my 166mhz Pentium?
7. How about you and I go back to my place and form a covalent bond?
8. You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum.
9. You're sweeter than glucose.
10 .We're as compatible as two similar Power Macintoshes.
11. Why don't we measure the coefficient of static friction between you and me?
12. Wanna see the programs in my HP-48GX?
13. Your body has the nicest arc length I've ever seen.
14. Isn't your e-mail address firstname.lastname@example.org
15. You're hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power!