daily dogma: the "isms" of truth:
the basic "ism" is a nugget of wisdom expelled by our family, friends, co-workers, and fellow humans that can guide us on our way to enlightenment. Peace...

Some names have been changed to protect the enlightened...

  • "The Ishkabibble Inn"
  • "Aging Beauty Queens of KYKR"
  • "Deputy Fatboil"

  • "That's the beauty of the system"...
  • "'Just such a wonderful person..."
  • "Can't lose for losing..."
  • "She's a good waste of D.N.A..."
  • "The Twitchy"
  • "You're such a playboy-party, stud-monkey...."

    It's about time... Concepts from the news...
  • Nipple Guard, nipple lock, collar bomb: (bad fashion statements???)
  • Wardrobe malfunction, broken button syndrome: (Janet Jackson)
  • Gravitas, pull-n-push: (politics...)
  • Chicken Hawk, Paper Tiger, cold-knife diplomacy: (political posturing)
  • Spliff, chronic, 420, haze, minzo, blunt: (Marijuana)
  • Blodger, blog, blag, noob, noobie-noob: (people still new to internet tech)
  • Prostitots, Mallers, Mall-bait, Pervo-food, baby sluts, crib-ho's: (Scantly clad teenage girls)
  • Demo-craps, Republi-cons, Congress Defeats Progress: (Politics)

    The Wit and Cranky Wisdom of Shelly Banes, Lake Charles, LA
  • Buncha' midgets with a head full of stupid! (about Kids...)
  • A woman is like a teabag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
  • If they can put one man on the moon, why not put them all?
  • I am low on Estrogen and I have a GUN.
  • Why can't men get "Mad Cow Disease"? Because they're pigs!
  • I'm not having hot flashes... I'm having power surges.
  • I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is getting better.
  • When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple.
  • Can I deduct my husband as a child care expense?
  • Coffee, chocolate, men - some things are just better rich.
  • Women are not supposed to snore, burp, sweat or pass gas; therefore we must complain or we will BLOW UP!
  • The bathroom has a "twatty" smell...

    Timeless words from her granddad...
  • You can stand in the garage, but that doesn't make you a Buick. (a reference about good christians and the frequency of church attendence)
  • You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them biscuits! (a reference to the I.Q. of a college grad)
  • If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck.....it IS a duck
  • Beauty may only be skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone
  • Do you have a plan?
  • How's THAT working for you?
  • Good Morning This Morning
  • Lay down with dogs...get up with fleas.

    The Wit and Wierd wisdom of Loni Beckham
  • Why look for conspiracy when stupidity can explain so much?
  • It's savant day!!! (idiot savant)
  • "Want in one hand and pee in the other and see which gets full first."
  • "shiat fire and save matches."
  • "If wishes were horses then beggers would ride."
  • "What's for dinner? Wait-and-see pie..."
  • "If you get arrested doing that crap, don't waste your phone call on me."
  • Flip-A-Bitch (Make a U-Turn)

    "Big Billisms"
    Actual Thought's and things from the Legendary Big Bill Johnson
  • I wanna' bang a Bratz © Doll...
  • if it's got tits or tires it's gonna give you hell...
  • nothing good ever came from a sentence that stated with the word "okay"...
  • He who smelt it, delt it...
  • most women know better than to date me...
  • the main reason that women are so angry is that their clothes are too tight and their feet hurt...
  • I have yet to meet a computer geek who don't like some sort of japanese cartoon...
  • Women like to travel in packs...
  • I just got tired of fighting, so I declared myself the winner and left...
  • People who don't smoke can kiss my ass..
  • Oslama Bin Laden? Oslama Bin my ass...
  • [When asked about his truck] My ass hurts...
  • If I don't kill myself today, this might be a good week...
  • [his advice to me...] There's gotta' be something wrong with you, otherwise you'd be divorced by now...
  • If you tell a lie twice, it's still a damn lie...
  • All the damn time you spent talking about it, it coulda' been done twice by now..
  • Two wrongs don't make a right, and three rights make a left...
  • Some folks should be killed 'fer smilin' too much...
  • 'Don't make a damn if it's black or white...
  • it's all pink in the middle...
  • Don't piss on my leg and then tell me it's rainin'...
  • They say that smokin', boozin' and pervertin' will take years off your life... If you're lucky....
  • If you wake up the next morning, not wearin' the underware you left home in... it might've been a good night...
  • Sometimes the prettiest bodies are home to the ugliest minds...
  • What's wrong with the world today is that your damn kids think that they're critters...
  • There's a lotta' shit out there that's just shit, ya' know?
  • Lies just make my ass hurt...

    ~ The late, great PrimeTime Jimmie Steele (Hadden), 1962 - 2004~
  • Die you Rat bastard!
  • let me get my can of whoop-ass!
  • Pig Hooter Mall
  • Loud like a big dog...
  • well, shit a pack of Marlboro's...

    The Wit and twitchy wisdom of Jean Fulton
  • Up to my ass in aligators...
  • Don't lie to momma!
  • It's a "5" poo-poo juice day!
  • Old people get to go to the copier first!!!

  • Blown Dead
  • Sack Sucker

    Sent in by her best friend Karen...
  • Krusty Krabs
  • AFLAC (the sound of her cough)
  • Bite Me, AssH***
  • Where's the John Deer?
  • How many ways to use a 4 prong cane?

  • Mode man!
  • No I'm not! Oh wait, I am... (burp)
  • Don't let your hose leak...

  • Astral-Blow
  • It's My House!
  • Ghost Poopie
  • Circle of Suck
  • I diddled his diddle...
  • I'll put your balls in a baggie!!!
  • If you piss in my Wheaties, I'll piss back...
  • I don't care how you butter that bread, it's still butter...

    ~ The late, great Uncle Lowell Campbell, 1912 - 1981~
  • The Gospel Bird!
  • It ain't and I ain't...
  • Good Luck and don't let the squirrel take your nuts.
  • It takes all kinds of fruits, nuts and flakes to make a bowl of cereal.

    ~The late, great Uncle Roy Boudreaux, 1949 - 1994~
  • No good deed goes unpunished.
  • Tits or tires mean trouble.
  • Temporary Brain Damage...
  • Short term stupidity...
  • Wherever you leak, someone is there to hang a bucket.
  • Sometimes, is easier to apologize than ask permission...
  • None are as blind as those who refuse to see.
  • The Lure of Pootie-Pooh.

  • W.T.F.???
  • Cognitive Science of Daily Crap
  • My cow don't need your bull!!!

    ~ Many known only to Jimmy Rush ~
  • Kathead Biscut
  • He looks like a cow looking at a barbwire fence.
  • the full pant load
  • Pin the tail on the Dumb-Ass.

    ~ Many known only to DD ~
  • Condom
  • God Turd
  • Shan-Shan the panda
  • Banana
  • Bananaconda
  • Hamtaro
  • It's all I don't know.
  • Pre-Anal Sex

  • Ass Monkey!
  • This too, shall pass
  • It's hard to follow the heart when it's torn and broken too many times, isn't it?
  • Never lie to the ones you love because truth is more precious than gold with them.
  • You're ate up with the dumb-ass!
  • The best laid plans don't always get you laid the way you planned...

    ~ Many known only to Billy ~
  • she is spanktastic
  • Crappalious
  • Bull Squirt
  • Nibble my fender
  • It's nothing that a broken thumb or two wouldn't cure...

  • Honkey see, honkey do
  • Whatthe, whatthe, whatthe...
  • But what the f*** do I know...
  • Citizens Raging Against People Vs. Legion Of American Doom [CRAP vs. LOAD]
  • We'll fight to "his" last breath!
  • Pillage the women and rape the cattle!!!
  • It's on like potato salad!!!
  • I want to pee on it!
  • I'll beat you like I beat my sausage!!!
  • He lost weight in seimen...

  • Black and White
  • Don't hate the player, hate the game.
  • The voices in my head didn't say anything about that...
  • If a snake bites you in the ass, you're dead...
  • ALRIGHT! I'm taking away your MAN CARD!
  • The chicken dance is a medical condition...

  • The SlapaHo Tribe
  • Wall to wall ugly
  • Ho Train
  • Winner of the "Dead-Ass" Award
  • Who you gonna' please with that???

  • Bite me!
  • It went BOOM!!!

  • Well, shit...

  • Bull Shirt!
  • N.M.J. - Not My Job!
  • N.M.P. - not My Problem!
  • Don't be so wrong.

    ~ That would be Pen Laurence Nyguen, known to his friends as Pen-Gwen ~
  • Watupfoo?
  • less talk, more go!
  • dumb ass, neckred!
  • shit, you shit-shit!
  • two words: eat and me!
  • flowers stink good

  • The Nap Demon
  • Took a page from the Encylopedia Moronica.
  • It's all about perception.
  • Grey Areas
  • Actions speak louder than words.
  • Glance, and move on...
  • Everybody needs hobbies.
  • Honest hearts suffer most.
  • Winkie-winkie-water-milk.
  • Handcuffs and Duct Tape.
  • Beautiful El Rancho Ghetto.
  • Synchomapping [Random Timing]
  • Transdues Egris Shiznit!!! [Quickly exit From Shit]
  • Northwest Corner of my Brain.
  • That Fool got paid!
  • Pooh-Juice
  • I'm most likely to die from something stupid...

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