Warning Labels...

Warnings regarding alcohol consumption that the Surgeon General failed to
	mention.  example: 

Warning: consumption of alcohol may cause morning breath    
         that would gag a maggot on a gut wagon.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in 
         making an ass of yourself on the dance floor.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers        
         are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the
         morning.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol by females may cause extreme bloating 
         during a 9 month period. (oops)

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell 
         ever happened to your pants anyway.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are 
         tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big 
         guy named Psycho. 

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause people in clubs to appear 
         much better looking than they actually are. 

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring 
         story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH
         IN YOUR HEAD.