YOU MAY BE AN ENGINEER IF........ 

* If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE 

* If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50 

* If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie 

* If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes 

* If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner 

* If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the
decimal point in the right place 

* If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids'toys 

* If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car 

* If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
hanging coats and taping ducts 

* If you window shop at Radio Shack 

* If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest
sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies 

* If you are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door
opener and your camera's flash attachment 

* If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
(It's on the floor, next to my desk! SO THERE!) 

* If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven 

* If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush 

* If you own "Official Star Trek" anything 

* If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project 

* If you are currently gathering the components to build your own
nuclear reactor 

* If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts 

* If you truly believe aliens are living among us 

* If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance 

* If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it 

* If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile
tires 

* If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
own turns bread into charcoal 

* If you have more toys than your kids 

* If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name 

* If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work 

* If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight 

* If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush
up to the front to fix it 

* If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary 

* If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel
and have seen most of the shows already

* If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting 

* If people groan at the party when you pick out the music 

* If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this
week 

* If you did the sound system for your senior prom 

* If your checkbook always balances 

* If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone 

* If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life 

* If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission
controllers 

* If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they
didn't get enough sleep 

* If you spend more on your home computer than your car 

* If you know what http:// stands for 

* If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio 

* If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your
garage 

* If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
explain atmospheric absorption theory 

* If your 4 basic food groups are: 
1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate (or Chinese, pizza, beer, salt
substrates) 

* If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail